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Using Both Sides of the Jealousy Coin

Dear Fellow Travelers,

Have you ever been jealous of someone? (Silly question, I know.) How do you feel when you experience jealousy? Does it feel like serendipitous joy over the good fortune for the other person while still acknowledging how much you’d like to be in his or her shoes? Is it an angry, agitated sensation? Do you feel low and despondent? How do you feel about yourself when you realize you’re experiencing jealousy? Does guilt rear its ugly head ready to pounce from the shadows? Do you feel frustrated with yourself or even ashamed? Since childhood, we’ve been taught that jealousy is a bad thing. I’d like to offer a different perspective and suggest that if you’re willing to be honest with yourself about your own jealousy that it can lead you to abundance and freedom.

I believe jealousy is a two-sided coin. You can tell which side of the coin you’re focused on by how you feel. There are times in life when a friend achieves something that we’d like for ourselves and, even though we feel envious, we are still able to be authentically happy for that person. Then there are times when the focus is slanted a bit more toward the pity party end of the spectrum and the feeling is sadness. At both of these times we can interpret our reaction as a message from our own heart about what we desire, but have yet to manifest. This is a great place to be. In these situations we can set an intention, make a plan and then look for whatever mental and emotional blocks are keeping us from realizing this in our own lives. This type of experience is a great gift as it causes us to stretch into possibility. The key to using this side of the coin is to not let the desire go unnoticed. Jump into the joy that the other person is experiencing and own it for yourself. It will give you energetic momentum like drafting off a car on the highway. Immerse yourself in your own vision and don’t get bogged down trying to figure out all the details. Dr. Benjamin Perkus, founder of the Aroma Freedom Technique, says, “Our job is what, God’s job is how.” Do the mediation, add the desire to your manifesting list, create the vision board, and work with a healer to release what’s got you contracting in fear or doubt rather than expanding into your dream.
The other side of the coin is when we feel something almost akin to hatred for another person for having something or being in a particular situation. At these times, seeing someone realize something we desire causes us intense pain. The message, in this case, is about where we have wounds that need healing. We may be reacting from a belief in scarcity and, at a subconscious level, believe the other person’s having this actually makes it more difficult for us to have or experience it. We’re unable to live in the possibility of our own desires and don’t want anyone else to either. We may smile and express happiness for the other person while deep inside we’re screaming. Being in this place often makes us bitter, unproductive and can make us very mean spirited. This is a good place to be IF we can be honest with ourselves about what we’re feeling and examine our inner voice. If we do, we will gain access to healing. The key to using this side of the coin is self-honesty. Understand that the reaction is not who you are, it’s an emotional response driven by an emptiness you feel. Track the emptiness, take ownership of your own life. Work with a healer to help you dig out the roots of resentment, regrets and feelings of rejection. Freeing yourself of these 3 will give you space to create what you truly want. Consider a Gratitude journal, do a daily self-love/acceptance meditation or a meditation to release anger, guilt & shame. Once you’ve owned your own vibration and let go of the negative internal talk about yourself and others, you will no longer feel the sting of other people’s good fortune like an arrow to your heart. You will be ready to flip the coin and begin manifesting what you desire.
Most of us, have had at least one experience on both sides of the coin. What’s important is to see and interpret the message for what it is. The next time the Green Eyed Monster invites you dance, be honest with yourself about your feelings and see them as valuable information. They will either be giving the signal to begin manifesting or indicating there is a wound that needs to be healed. Either way, use the information to move closer to abundance and happiness. As always, if I can assist along your journey, it would be my honor to do so.

Blessings & Light,

“Jealousy is an activated awareness of the difference between
where you are and where you want to be.”
~ Abraham

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